Queues Outside Guildhall As Thousands Log Off Facebook & Register To Vote Instead

UPDATE: Of course this was one of three April Fools jokes… but has a real message, due to low turnouts and possibly low voter registration back in 2012 – hopefully you will make sure that is not the case this year!

There are queues around the block outside the Guildhall this morning as tens of thousands of Wrexhamites have decided to take part in the forthcoming local council elections by registering to vote.
After years of voicing strong opinions online it seems many residents have decided to take the first step in active local democracy by registering to vote for the May 4th elections.

Mrs Badcrumble from one ward in Wrexham said: “I was shocked to learn that posting a comment on Facebook did not equate to a vote and that my local councillor actually won with just 10% of the registered voters.”

We attempted to get further word from her, however she had to have a sit down after we explained that the electorate figure does not count those who are not registered, so the real figure could be well into single figure percentages.

Jim Smug eagerly joined the back of the queue after we countered his argument that ‘voting is a waste of time’ by pointing out he could write rude messages on his ballot paper and therefore his discord would be recorded in the spoilt paper columns at the count.

Another resident of Wrexham, Dave Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious said: “I often hammer my keyboard making very lengthy posts, which once you have substituted words in using the Thesaurus.com, can take hours to compose, but I never knew I could also simply scrawl an X to voice an opinion as well.”

Keith Illuminati said that ‘voting never changes nothing’, but one person explained that if everyone who was registered actually bothered to vote then results could well be different.

One voting official told us: “This is wonderful, we expect by midday everyone who is eligible to register will be registered, and that they will then go out on vote on May 4th, so it could be the the first 100% registered and 100% turnout election ever!”

The last council election in 2012 saw on average just 34.5% of those on the electorate going out and voting. The electorate does not even equate to the number of people who live in Wrexham – just those who are registered to vote.

Facebook and Twitter shares have tumbled at the news, with Tumblr remaining a strong haven of quality gifs.

Our top tip for those who want to avoid the queues is to visit https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote to check you are registered to vote, and then make sure you get your friends and family to do the same.